5.29.2008

:: Perfect ::

:: I've been away from posting anything until I composed this post ::
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:: I want to talk to you about your impression of me ::
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:: I want you to know, I am FAR from perfect ::
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:: I don't do everything well. I have struggles just like everyone else. I have things in my life that I don't talk about on here. I don't talk about them on here because I'm embarrassed about them or because I'm concerned of what y'all would think ::
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:: I am "glass half full" kinda girl (on most occasions). I love my life. Some of the aspects in my life are challenging to me, and I'm working on those. My point is I am generally a very positive person, that doesn't mean that everything in my life is "perfect" or the picture of perfection ::
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:: I have daily challenges with relationships in my life, weight loss, finances etc. Pretty much everyone has these same challenges in your life on one degree or another ::
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:: However since this blog is a very public blog (as in everyone in my life pretty much knows about it) and it gets close to 60 views a day, I need to limit my information and sensor what I write about (which, let me tell ya is very difficult for me) ::
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:: I would never want to write anything that would affect my friends or family in a negative way, but that doesn't mean me or my life is "perfect". I, in no way would I ever want to give off that impression. I do have a wonderful life and that is what I want to share with y'all ::
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:: One key in my life is my Savior. Not my husband, not my kids, not my family, not even my friends (no matter how good y'all are). My God is my rock, He is my right hand, He is the one I call on for the simple things, He is my passion. He is what I want to show to you. He is my desire, He knows me best. He wants to see me be the best I can be. He is the one I want to bless with my life. He is the one I want to have shine through me ::
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:: I strive to do all things in excellence through Christ. I don't always succeed, but I don't dwell on not succeeding, I pick myself up and try again. Because Christ is with me, when I succeed and when I fail He is there for me. His love for me doesn't change ::
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:: I want you to know this because I have been feeling challenged on why I don't write about some of my struggles. However when I read back on my blog, I have written about my struggles. I've just chosen to write about them once they are resolved and usually they turn out alright, for the better or even better then I could have ever imagined. Then instead of a trial or a problem, they turn out to be something great ::
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:: So I ask as you read my blog you look beyond the post and see what I had to go through to get to the end result that I have written about. More than likely I had to walk through a bunch of mud and gunk to get to the end result. I would also suggest that if you are in the midst of a trial or struggle (no matter how great or small) that you remember that the story is not finished. That what you are going through can be determined by your outlook and the choices you make ::
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:: What would a book be without some good problems, a fight here or there and then a happy ending? Well, I'll tell ya, I sure wouldn't want to be reading that book! So expect that God wants your story to have a happy ending, no matter how crappy or dramatic the story is now. He wants it to end well and He will take care of you through it all ::
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:: Okay, I didn't want this to be a preach-fest, but I truly feel like I may be misunderstood and that y'all think I live in a dreamy world with roses with no thorns, cake with no calories and children with no poopy bums. If this is what you see my friends, I'm sorry but you are sadly mistaken...I would be living in heaven if that were the case! ::
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:: Enough is enough, I think I have gotten my point across. It has only taken me five days to write and publish this stupid post! ::
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:: I hope you "get" me and if you have ANY questions about what I am like or what I think please feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment ::
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:: I am going to leave you with this song, I have had this song in my head all week and cannot get it out of my heart and mind. It truly expresses how great God is and what he wants for us ::
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:: I have posted the lyrics below as well as a link (or two because I'm indecisive) to youtube to listen to the song ::
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Might to Save
By: Hillsongs Music
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Everyone needs compassion

A love that's never failing

Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness


A kindness of a Savior

The hope of nations


Savior

He can move the mountains

My God is Mighty to save

He is Mighty to save
Forever

Author of salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave


So take me as

You find me

All my fears and failures

Fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in

Now I surrender


Shine your light and let the whole world see

We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus
{FYI :: I had to put in these stupid things "~" between each paragraph so there would be spaces, blogger isn't cooperating with me! }

10 comments:

Lovella said...

Shawna. . this is an absolutely excellent post. Well written and so honest. I have written similar posts. . it seems that people begin to think that our lives are just so perfect or that we want to convey that we want them to think its perfect. I could just about copy and paste this one myself. . (don't worry I won't)

jamiedelaine said...

Seriously? Somebody made a comment that you thought you were perfect? I have NEVER got that impression from your blog girl! :P Anyway. I gotta run. See you tonight!!

Lisa B. said...

Thanks for sharing some of the heart behind all that you do.....it is easy to look from the outside in (at your or anyone we know) and see what we want to see....what we WANT for our life, what we don't have, or what we need to see to feel better about ourselves.

And I love that song too....it's beautiful and has been on my heart and lips many days in the last number of weeks.

susan santos said...

Shawna, I appreciate your honesty. I'm a 1/2 empty kind of gal myself so 1/2 full people do seem perfect!! (well at least happier!!)
Your post is inspirational, I share far too much on my blog but still not everything, and people will get whatever impression they want from our words but our blogs are not the whole picture of who we are.
It is so easy to compare ourselves to other people, and I am guilty of that trap but the important thing to remember is God doesn't compare his children, he doesn't have a favourite kid, He loves us all - insecurities and all. I too love that song you included, its one I belt out in church, caring less of the sound of my voice but more of praise. God is good, and you constantly bring me back to remember that, thanks friend.

Keep up the blogging, I do think you have a bit of Martha in you (better!) but none of us are perfect. If we were where would our need for God be? And I know I sure need him!

hugs!
susan

Canadian Kristin said...

You make me smile at your very open and honest and pure heart! {{{hugs}}} to my Shawna-friend!!!!!!!!

Joanne said...

MCRO

turningoveranewleaf said...

i think imperfection and a little bit of "patina" show wisdom and grace. thanks for the openness. it's good to know glass half full people (i tend to be glass half empty!) thanks again.

Keri's Collage... said...

A great post! I totally understand where you are coming from.

Annika said...

Hi Shawna,
I love reading your blog and have never looked at you as perfect through it. I marvel at you accomplishments and your amazing outlook on life and your love for our God. If anything, I am inspired to be a better person/wife/mother and to strengthen my walk with God from reading what you write. Don't stop doing what you do and being who you are. And what you wrote here was very well written.
Love your candidness.
See you soon!

Laura said...

Shawna, what a great post. I've often had comments from people about how great my life seems, and I echo your words, and say "amen" to that! Thanks for such honesty, and I for one like hearing all the good, wouldn't we be stupid to think someone actually has it all together in every area of their life? It's just impossible, thus our incredible need for God and his amazing grace.

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