:: You know how you have "just one of those days" - well I feel like I've been having one of "those" days for the past two or three weeks! ::
:: Nothing is enormously wrong or out of sorts, things just are. You know, they just are what they are! It all probably started on a huge downward spiral when someone said to me this exact sentence "being a stay at home Mom is a luxury" :::: Now this sentence is true, being able {aka: not having to work out of the home} is a luxury. Staying at home day in, day out with everything that it entails isn't necessarily a luxury. The constant repeating of the same sentence "don't hit your brother", "listen to me", "listen and obey first time", "be kind and loving", "eat your food", "now, you get a consequence" is not a luxury and frankly every mom out there would agree with me. We as stay at home mom's don't think that being a 24 hour a day on call nurse, cook, cleaner, dry cleaner, librarian, professional organizer, accountant, budget keeper {not really a term, but you get what I mean}, social organizer, party planner etc. etc. etc. is a luxury ::
:: YES, having that glorious smile of your child come to you from across the table or seeing your little boy clean up spilled mess without being asked can be all the thanks you need to get you through the day. But as a mom you do know that is your payment. In trade for all the daily stuff you go through with bringing up your children and having the luxury of staying home, you get a smile or small example that the work and effort is actually paying off...that is your payment, your pay cheque if you will ::
:: Some days, to be honest, that pay cheque does not feel like it's enough ::
:: Yes, being at home is a luxury, but amidst the small list of "to-do's" that I have to do in a day, I also have to encourage and edify the young men that we are raising, teach and train them in the right way and try to stay sane while doing it. Let alone getting in time with my big boy {Mr. L}...all of this is nor does it feel like a luxury all the time. I do it all in love and most of the time with a cheerful heart, however when this sentence came and slapped me in the face, I was honestly gob-smacked - what did this person really think I did/do all day? ::
:: Now, this person really has no idea as to what I do or accomplish in my day, nor do they care to know. I have full knowledge that this person is speaking in ignorance and really has no clue as to what I conduct during my "working" hours {now isn't that a laughable statement!}, and really probably never will - that doesn't denote the fact that the comment hurt me ::
:: I paid a lot in counselling to say that; "the comment hurt me" ::
:: I work my little rear end off trying to save money, pre-plan gifts/celebrations and the money that will be spent for them, along with meeting the current need of my family by preparing the fridge for the coming BBQ's, year end parties etc. plus ensuring that our bank account is planning for the future of our lives and our kids...this is a daily effort and a lot more work since we only have one steady income - this is not a luxury, but something that we do so I can stay home and raise our children {and that is a luxury} ::
:: Now let me say this, I think that working moms are unbelievable - honestly I don't know how you do it! Obviously, making more money makes the wheel go round that much better, disposable income and the ability to just go out and get something without having to account for it in the pocket book is there, which is a luxury that I don't have. Being a stay at home, I can stay home with my sick baby without worrying about work is a luxury. They both have their pros and cons and honestly it really made me angry that this person felt that they were educated enough in my employment to make such a statement ::
:: My life without working is less then glamorous, and yet worth every minute. I don't feel deprived when my working friends are wearing name brand jeans that make their butts look like they are H O T or when they pick up and head off for the weekend {alone!}. Really, those benefits we don't have the luxury of and yet in the grand scheme of life, it's really all worth it ::
:: I don't often feel the need to give reasons as to what I do/don't do in my day, but this comment caught me SO off guard - I didn't even know what to say. The amount of sacrifice I personally make by being home is some days so overwhelming and not worth it. Other days it's SO worth it a thousand times over. Like today when I came downstairs from putting down a very tired two year old and Jacob had taken the dust pan and the little hand duster and started dusting up a mess of dry fruit loops that Cole had dumped a few hours earlier and I had yet to clean them up - we are constantly trying to train our children to clean up after themselves and when I came down to see Jacob cleaning up after it wasn't his responsibility made it feel like our constant "clean up your mess, it's your responsibility" was worth it all...at least for a moment! ::
:: This is not a working mom vs. stay at home mom post...not in the least, because we all know I do work - partially from home for part of the year, so I do get the juggling that goes into being a working mom and truly my hat goes off to all of you. This is a post about how I need to understand that just because I have kids and do stay at home with them means that unless you do the same as me, you just don't get it. Nor do I get what you do. I don't know all that your work entails, but I don't pretend I do either. I don't negate the fact that you put in an 8 hour work day...I don't know what your day is like...and frankly, to me your life is a LUXURY that I would be willing to trade in for a day or two! ::
:: Because, I don't know about you but my hands stink like poo because my 2 year old refuses to wear a diaper and still {day 7} refuses to make it all the way to the potty for number2 - that's my luxury for the day oh and to top that all off I had a moment of peace to make a phone call by giving my two children freezes as a treat, just to have them come to put them in the garbage {because it's their responsibility} with the open portion down all the way through the carpeted family room, so now in my luxurious life...I get to clean carpets, ah heck, just add it to the list! ::
:: Bottom line, I love my life, all of the crap included. But I will from now on, never, I say never, ever think I know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes or make an assumption that what they do is a luxury. Because truly in each of our lives there is the good and the bad, and some days it would just be nice to have to get up, wear ironed and coordinating clothes and work with others who call washroom a washroom, not "potty"! ::
:: No need to leave any sort of comment on either side of the this debate, because really it's not a debate, but just cheaper for me to write it out instead of pay for therapy! ::
:: Happy Day in whatever your day is made up of {including toddler poo}! ::
** Edited to Add **
I wanted to leave y'all with this quote from the Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
:: The fundamental mission of motherhood is now the same as it always was: to nurture, protect and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and His purposes, and to send them out into the world to live both fully and meaningfully ::
:: Bottom line, I love my life, all of the crap included. But I will from now on, never, I say never, ever think I know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes or make an assumption that what they do is a luxury. Because truly in each of our lives there is the good and the bad, and some days it would just be nice to have to get up, wear ironed and coordinating clothes and work with others who call washroom a washroom, not "potty"! ::
:: No need to leave any sort of comment on either side of the this debate, because really it's not a debate, but just cheaper for me to write it out instead of pay for therapy! ::
:: Happy Day in whatever your day is made up of {including toddler poo}! ::
** Edited to Add **
I wanted to leave y'all with this quote from the Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
:: The fundamental mission of motherhood is now the same as it always was: to nurture, protect and instruct children, to create a home environment that enables them to learn and grow, to help them develop a heart for God and His purposes, and to send them out into the world to live both fully and meaningfully ::
