:: Family First ::

:: While on my quest to start off my year right and taking my word of the year into account (more on what that is later) -- I went down to the crawl space and took out a few books that I wanted to read through again ::

:: Cause I really have so much time for reading. Ha! ::

:: I do actually make time for reading; I really really really love to read, and I'm one of these people who actually marks up my books and highlights them as I go along ::

:: One of the books I pulled out was Family First by Dr. Phil -- Now I don't, nor will I ever put all of my trust in another human or take every ounce of what they say to be 100% applicable to my life - however I do think that some thoughts and ideas from an outside source is sometimes welcome, especially when it comes to raising a family ::

:: Here is a quote from his book that I read last night, this is truly how I feel and reading this book just gives us the tools to bring our kids up on the straight and narrow path that we are called to walk ::

It is time that as parents we say, "hey, I do not surrender, I do not give up. I will not be intimidated by all the forces tugging on my children and family. I will not accept that disconnected children are just 'how it is' these days. I do not accept the epidemics of oral sex, drugs and alcohol in the middle and upper schools. I do not accept a child that appears 'deaf' when I say, 'pick up your toys and don't hit your sister in the head anymore.' I will not continue to parent out of fear that my kids won't like me if I require more from them behaviorally, academically and spiritually as I teach them that relationship-building is important in life. I will not feel guilty and go into debt trying to keep them in designer clothes and toys/activities from preschool on up! I am not charged with being their friend, I am charged with being their parent, their protector, their teacher and their leader. I will 'rise above my raisin', if necessary, to break any family legacy that may be contaminating how I lead my family and deal with my children. Give me the specific tools, guidance and techniques and I will work to socialize my children in a way so that they become immune to the many seductive promises of instant gratification, false realities and provocative lifestyles of today's fast paced world. I will not let the television or Internet 'babysit' them as I communicate only through emails, pagers and cell phones. I will instead plug in the old-fashioned way and prepare them to deal with the distractions that assault them and blur their vision of self. I will create the pride, unity and loyalty and 'team spirit' that is so critical to a phenomenal family."

:: What a stinkin' great statement, and I totally feel that we as parents are called to do just that. Now if anyone knows what 'rise above my raisin' means, I would love to know - cause just in case y'all forgot I was born in the North but I've got roots somewhere in the South - I'm sure of it! ;) ::

:: The other book that I pulled out was Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson, I have yet to crack that one, but in a few weeks I'll probably post a bit about that one too...do any of you have a great 'self help' type book (other than the Bible) that you could share with me? ::


Candice said...

hmmm...that IS great !

Maybe 'rise above my raisin' is short for "rise above my raising"...meaning doing things differently than the way you were raised, or what your parents say. I don't know, if it's not that, I'd sure like to know too :)

Carrie said...

Great summary of what being a parent means!

Some of my family from down south have use that very statement...and Candice is right, it means not using bad parenting that you experienced as an excuse or reason for parenting your children badly, instead rise above it & do better!

I have read Bringing up Boys & go back to it every once in a while...good book. Happy reading! Oh, and I do like Joel Osteen books...he's so encouraging, all about being who God made you to be & doing it the best you can :)

Crystal said...

Calm my anxious heart, by linda dillow. I don't say many books change my life accept the obvious big one, but this one sure did. I read it right after Addyson was born, and it couldn't have come at a better time. There were things we wanted to have set in place before having her, and well, that didn't happen, and it was hard, and finances are tight, but what this book taught me was how to be content in my circumstances..its been such a blessing to me! It has a bible study at the back of it too!

Laura said...

Fantastic post, Shawna! Love the concept and the heart behind it.

I haven't read a lot of parenting books (yet!) but from working at Focus, I've heard tons of positive feedback on "Bringing up Boys as well as "Dare to Discipline" and "Raising a Strong Willed Child." Actually, my parents went through a course on that one when I was 2 ;) And they said it truly helped them and made a huge difference.

On a non-parenting level, "How to Keep your Faith when God Doesn't Make Sense" is a good one too. Helps answer some tough questions that we face in life! I have that one if you ever want to borrow it!

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